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When I was in college, I was really into eastern philosophy and meditation. I was on a quest for inner peace, for finding my center.  It seemed like the better way to live.

There’s a rub, however. I never found it because I wanted it so that I didn’t have to feel all the anxieties and insecurities I had. That never works: covering up a tangled mess of emotional garbage by focusing on quieting your mind or contemplating your navel only works while you’re doing it. All the emotional mess is still there, but you’re just distracting yourself from it by focusing on not thinking.

So that whole enlightenment kick never worked out. But then again I didn’t stick around to become a meditation master because I found something MUCH better: 3D Mind. After all, what’s the point of meditating for 20 years to suppress all the mental junk before getting to a day-to-day state of not being quite so anxious, insecure and emotionally garbled when I can get started making progress bit by bit every day?

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Relationships are always a quirky topic to me.  People have a tendency to project their insecurities onto others, and when it comes to finding that “special someone” it always gets blown WAY out of proportion. They say that you should become the kind of person you want to attract, but usually people try to attract the person that makes them feel like the person they want to be.

This is a big mistake.

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I used to be a wallflower.  I was the guy in high school who kept mostly to myself.  I got a little better in college, but I was still pretty shy.  Over the years, though, I’ve changed as I’ve used 3D Mind on my own insecurities.

The thing, though, is that you can’t just sit down and start clearing out limiting beliefs and one day wake up a superman.  There’s a process to all things, and one of the things that has been a weak point for me for years is building relatioships with people.  Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what I want out of other people and how to relate to them.

After all, the theoretical “Super Dave” could be some awesomely outgoing guy who’s the life of the party and is loved by all.  Except that that is the complete opposite of the problem.  If I didn’t feel deficient in the relationship area, then I wouldn’t need to feel like “Super Dave.”  So there has to be another way.

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It’s a multi-billion dollar industry, you know.  There are thousands of different books, tapes, CDs and DVDs out there.  There are hundreds of different techniques and theories and guides on how to live the right way.  It can be pretty confusing.  And most of it is crap.

You see, the reason there is such a variety of viewpoints out there is that no one really knows for sure what works.  Most people just grasp at straws and are quick to celebrate anything that seems to work.  And then there’s the fact that people are desperate.  Desperate people do crazy things.

There’s an easy way to not get caught in it, though.  Read the rest of this entry »

A few days ago, I was working with a friend of mine who’s trying to build a business. He was getting stressed out because things weren’t going well and he was getting overwhelmed, so I gave him a hand in sorting out his head and his supposed “fear of failure”. One of the things I found when working with him was a pattern I’ve been noticing more and more lately.

At first, he thought his issue was about not having the money he needed. That, however, is just the end of the process, not the cause of the real problem. The real problem is where he gets stopped in doing the things that will lead to him making money, but because he was generalizing “money” as the cause of his problems, he couldn’t see the real problems because he was so focused on that end result.

So here’s the pattern. Read the rest of this entry »