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Last month, I had my 10 year high school reunion. A lot of people look forward to something like that with trepidation, going so far as to make excuses for not going. But not me.

I was really, really curious. 10 years is a long time, and people change. I know this for a fact, after all.

I think what I wanted to know most, though, was if I had really changed. Over time, small changes add up, but unless you have something to compare it to, it seems like you haven’t gone anywhere.

It WAS very different, and so was I.
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I used to be a wallflower.  I was the guy in high school who kept mostly to myself.  I got a little better in college, but I was still pretty shy.  Over the years, though, I’ve changed as I’ve used 3D Mind on my own insecurities.

The thing, though, is that you can’t just sit down and start clearing out limiting beliefs and one day wake up a superman.  There’s a process to all things, and one of the things that has been a weak point for me for years is building relatioships with people.  Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what I want out of other people and how to relate to them.

After all, the theoretical “Super Dave” could be some awesomely outgoing guy who’s the life of the party and is loved by all.  Except that that is the complete opposite of the problem.  If I didn’t feel deficient in the relationship area, then I wouldn’t need to feel like “Super Dave.”  So there has to be another way.

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It’s a multi-billion dollar industry, you know.  There are thousands of different books, tapes, CDs and DVDs out there.  There are hundreds of different techniques and theories and guides on how to live the right way.  It can be pretty confusing.  And most of it is crap.

You see, the reason there is such a variety of viewpoints out there is that no one really knows for sure what works.  Most people just grasp at straws and are quick to celebrate anything that seems to work.  And then there’s the fact that people are desperate.  Desperate people do crazy things.

There’s an easy way to not get caught in it, though.  Read the rest of this entry »

A few days ago, I was working with a friend of mine who’s trying to build a business. He was getting stressed out because things weren’t going well and he was getting overwhelmed, so I gave him a hand in sorting out his head and his supposed “fear of failure”. One of the things I found when working with him was a pattern I’ve been noticing more and more lately.

At first, he thought his issue was about not having the money he needed. That, however, is just the end of the process, not the cause of the real problem. The real problem is where he gets stopped in doing the things that will lead to him making money, but because he was generalizing “money” as the cause of his problems, he couldn’t see the real problems because he was so focused on that end result.

So here’s the pattern. Read the rest of this entry »

3D Mind is all about getting to the root of what’s going on.  One thing that makes it difficult sometimes, though, is that after the initial reaction or belief that sears itself into the mind, we have reactions to that reaction.  We beat ourselves up after the fact.  We try to make sense of why we didn’t meet our own expectations with a judgment of ourselves.  From there, we elaborate on the judgments we made until we have a whole host of reasons to blame other people, the world, and ourselves.

I’m lazy.  I’m a loser.  I can’t do it.  I’m not good enough.  I’ll never be…  These are all excuses and rationalizations we make to explain what went wrong because what really happened was too quick for us to notice.  We felt something and reacted and tried to explain away the aftermath, but instead only confusing the issue. Read the rest of this entry »