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3D Mind is all about getting to the root of what’s going on.  One thing that makes it difficult sometimes, though, is that after the initial reaction or belief that sears itself into the mind, we have reactions to that reaction.  We beat ourselves up after the fact.  We try to make sense of why we didn’t meet our own expectations with a judgment of ourselves.  From there, we elaborate on the judgments we made until we have a whole host of reasons to blame other people, the world, and ourselves.

I’m lazy.  I’m a loser.  I can’t do it.  I’m not good enough.  I’ll never be…  These are all excuses and rationalizations we make to explain what went wrong because what really happened was too quick for us to notice.  We felt something and reacted and tried to explain away the aftermath, but instead only confusing the issue. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been working at personal change, both for myself and others, for at least a few years now.  If there’s anything I’ve noticed that’s a real pitfall when one is trying to change, it’s giving up.    And everyone does it.

I mean, we’ve spent our lives trying to avoid the things we’d really like to overcome.  If we didn’t want to avoid them, then they wouldn’t be a problem in the first place!  It would be great if it were simple enough to just immediately get over the problem and not have to sweat it.  Even with 3D Mind, though, sorting out your mind, behaviors and life in general is still a lot of work.  It’s easy to fall back on the behaviors we’re trying to change.

That’s life.  Unfortunately, it’s hard to examine ourselves in a completely objective way like an engineer programming a computer.  In a way, we ARE the computer, so any programming we do on ourselves can be muddled by what’s already there.  That just means it takes more work to see through our own mental crap to get to the other side. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a popular topic… and a good one at that.  I was reading Bart Loos’ blog a few days ago and he shared something pretty important.  Another coach told him, “Motivation is the feeling you need, to be able to do what you didn’t want to do in the first place.”  Bart, being a 3D Mind guy as well, pointed out that the best way to “motivate” yourself is to clear out the beliefs that keep you from wanting to do whatever it is you need to do.

Now, with this in mind, a 3D Mind buddy asked me about setting goals and staying focused.  I figured this would be a great topic to talk about.

Basically, I asked him what his goal was.  He wanted to learn more about web design and was having problems focusing on it.  The problem with that is that learning is NEVER a goal.  Learning is only a means to an end.  Now, that end could be satisfying curiosity, killing time, allowing someone to feel educated or important, or accomplishing something, but regardless of the intent learning is always a means to an end instead of a goal.  This is because learning is a process, and processes can’t be a goal.

So we narrowed it down.  What was the learning for?  So he could make money on building websites.  Now this is where most people create problems for themselves.  They think that money is a motivator.

It isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »