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I realize that I’ve been out of touch for a while. Things have been very busy! I’m sure that there are lots of people who run into this. I have a good friend who’s in the same boat, rushing around, trying to get things done, and I’ve been thinking about the topic.

It would be nice sometimes to sit down and have all the time in the world to get something done. Does it happen often? Not really. Does that mean nothing gets done? Sometimes… If you let it.

I have to admit. I don’t really feel like an expert on procrastination yet. There’s talking the talk, and there’s walking the walk after all. Sometimes, though, it only seems like nothing gets done because we feel so out of control. One thing gets planned, and another comes up. When it comes to life, though, flexibility is the name of the game. Something will ALWAYS come up. Because that’s not something you can control, if you wait for things to be perfect, nothing gets done.

So you have to steal the moment.

Right now, I’m at work. I’m the manager on duty, and the only salesperson at a furniture store. I had to come in early to take down the sale tags that ended yesterday and put up the new ones. In between tagging, I can be interrupted at any time by customers and literally get pulled from one thing to the next. In fact, this has described the last couple weeks in general.

As of late, that makes it much harder to sit down and write, and I’ve been letting it slide. I’ve been thinking about it, constantly though. It’s too easy to get into the mindset of “I HAVE to get things done” and feel overwhelmed with MORE responsibility than I already feel. Instead, I’ve been focusing on how I WANT to get this done. That’s the thing about motivation, after all. If you focus on avoiding feeling bad you get nowhere, but if you focus on getting what you want you’re going to make progress.

So in a perfect world, I’d be able to sit down at my desk at home, have a cup of coffee and… Aww hell. While we’re talking about fantasies, why not have a good glass of scotch and a cigar while sitting in an old-style study filled with leather-bound books in a chair by a cozy fireplace. I could sit there pondering, idly running my fingers through my beard, finding inspiration in the musings of great authors before me…

Which is all total BS ’cause I’m really not anywhere close to being that kind of guy. And if I hold myself to that kind of standard, I’ll never, ever get anything done.

In reality, I’m a guy who spends his days running in 10 different directions at once and just wants to relax at night. I also happen to have a handy little blackberry, so what am I to do? Simple. I’ll write a few minutes at a time as I get a break. At this point, it’s not about squeezing as much productivity into my day as possible. It’s about taking control of my day in as many little chunks as possible. Again, adaptability is key.

So here’s my challenge to you. You may feel overwhelmed by all the things you have to do. Some things may not get done in their entirety. But you can take control of things by getting the little things done. So my question to you is, as you go through your busy day not getting enough done, how can you steal the moment?

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my job.

Last month, I had my 10 year high school reunion. A lot of people look forward to something like that with trepidation, going so far as to make excuses for not going. But not me.

I was really, really curious. 10 years is a long time, and people change. I know this for a fact, after all.

I think what I wanted to know most, though, was if I had really changed. Over time, small changes add up, but unless you have something to compare it to, it seems like you haven’t gone anywhere.

It WAS very different, and so was I.
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I used to be a wallflower.  I was the guy in high school who kept mostly to myself.  I got a little better in college, but I was still pretty shy.  Over the years, though, I’ve changed as I’ve used 3D Mind on my own insecurities.

The thing, though, is that you can’t just sit down and start clearing out limiting beliefs and one day wake up a superman.  There’s a process to all things, and one of the things that has been a weak point for me for years is building relatioships with people.  Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what I want out of other people and how to relate to them.

After all, the theoretical “Super Dave” could be some awesomely outgoing guy who’s the life of the party and is loved by all.  Except that that is the complete opposite of the problem.  If I didn’t feel deficient in the relationship area, then I wouldn’t need to feel like “Super Dave.”  So there has to be another way.

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I’ve been working at personal change, both for myself and others, for at least a few years now.  If there’s anything I’ve noticed that’s a real pitfall when one is trying to change, it’s giving up.    And everyone does it.

I mean, we’ve spent our lives trying to avoid the things we’d really like to overcome.  If we didn’t want to avoid them, then they wouldn’t be a problem in the first place!  It would be great if it were simple enough to just immediately get over the problem and not have to sweat it.  Even with 3D Mind, though, sorting out your mind, behaviors and life in general is still a lot of work.  It’s easy to fall back on the behaviors we’re trying to change.

That’s life.  Unfortunately, it’s hard to examine ourselves in a completely objective way like an engineer programming a computer.  In a way, we ARE the computer, so any programming we do on ourselves can be muddled by what’s already there.  That just means it takes more work to see through our own mental crap to get to the other side. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a popular topic… and a good one at that.  I was reading Bart Loos’ blog a few days ago and he shared something pretty important.  Another coach told him, “Motivation is the feeling you need, to be able to do what you didn’t want to do in the first place.”  Bart, being a 3D Mind guy as well, pointed out that the best way to “motivate” yourself is to clear out the beliefs that keep you from wanting to do whatever it is you need to do.

Now, with this in mind, a 3D Mind buddy asked me about setting goals and staying focused.  I figured this would be a great topic to talk about.

Basically, I asked him what his goal was.  He wanted to learn more about web design and was having problems focusing on it.  The problem with that is that learning is NEVER a goal.  Learning is only a means to an end.  Now, that end could be satisfying curiosity, killing time, allowing someone to feel educated or important, or accomplishing something, but regardless of the intent learning is always a means to an end instead of a goal.  This is because learning is a process, and processes can’t be a goal.

So we narrowed it down.  What was the learning for?  So he could make money on building websites.  Now this is where most people create problems for themselves.  They think that money is a motivator.

It isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »