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I used to be a wallflower.  I was the guy in high school who kept mostly to myself.  I got a little better in college, but I was still pretty shy.  Over the years, though, I’ve changed as I’ve used 3D Mind on my own insecurities.

The thing, though, is that you can’t just sit down and start clearing out limiting beliefs and one day wake up a superman.  There’s a process to all things, and one of the things that has been a weak point for me for years is building relatioships with people.  Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what I want out of other people and how to relate to them.

After all, the theoretical “Super Dave” could be some awesomely outgoing guy who’s the life of the party and is loved by all.  Except that that is the complete opposite of the problem.  If I didn’t feel deficient in the relationship area, then I wouldn’t need to feel like “Super Dave.”  So there has to be another way.

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Here’s a blog I found recently.  I like a lot of how this guy thinks and how he challenges some of the things that are ridiculous in people’s perceptions.  I particularly like this one on why you should live each day to the fullest.  Check out The Last Psychiatrist Blog.

3D Mind is all about getting to the root of what’s going on.  One thing that makes it difficult sometimes, though, is that after the initial reaction or belief that sears itself into the mind, we have reactions to that reaction.  We beat ourselves up after the fact.  We try to make sense of why we didn’t meet our own expectations with a judgment of ourselves.  From there, we elaborate on the judgments we made until we have a whole host of reasons to blame other people, the world, and ourselves.

I’m lazy.  I’m a loser.  I can’t do it.  I’m not good enough.  I’ll never be…  These are all excuses and rationalizations we make to explain what went wrong because what really happened was too quick for us to notice.  We felt something and reacted and tried to explain away the aftermath, but instead only confusing the issue. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been working at personal change, both for myself and others, for at least a few years now.  If there’s anything I’ve noticed that’s a real pitfall when one is trying to change, it’s giving up.    And everyone does it.

I mean, we’ve spent our lives trying to avoid the things we’d really like to overcome.  If we didn’t want to avoid them, then they wouldn’t be a problem in the first place!  It would be great if it were simple enough to just immediately get over the problem and not have to sweat it.  Even with 3D Mind, though, sorting out your mind, behaviors and life in general is still a lot of work.  It’s easy to fall back on the behaviors we’re trying to change.

That’s life.  Unfortunately, it’s hard to examine ourselves in a completely objective way like an engineer programming a computer.  In a way, we ARE the computer, so any programming we do on ourselves can be muddled by what’s already there.  That just means it takes more work to see through our own mental crap to get to the other side. Read the rest of this entry »

“Balancing” is one of the key 3D Mind terms used to describe the process of changing a limiting belief or emotional drive.  Tom and Kim state that it’s a matter of balancing between the more primitive reactive parts of the brain and the relatively newer creative/adaptive part of the brain responsible for reason and planning.  But what the heck does that mean, anyways?  And since it’s coming from a couple of people who are NOT doctors, aren’t they just making things up?

Well, no, it turns out.

http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSL2311107920070823

Researchers in London have found that different areas of the brain are dominant depending on how close a threat is.   I personally like how this article points out that a healthy response is the result of a balance between these two areas of the brain.  Now, the article states that researchers are suggesting that people with anxiety disorders have an imbalance that leans toward an overactive reactive part of the brain, but I would suggest that perhaps all emotional problems are like this.  After all, it’s not an on/off relationship between these opposing areas of the brain. Read the rest of this entry »