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Here’s a popular topic… and a good one at that. I was reading Bart Loos’ blog a few days ago and he shared something pretty important. Another coach told him, “Motivation is the feeling you need, to be able to do what you didn’t want to do in the first place.” Bart, being a 3D Mind guy as well, pointed out that the best way to “motivate” yourself is to clear out the beliefs that keep you from wanting to do whatever it is you need to do.
Now, with this in mind, a 3D Mind buddy asked me about setting goals and staying focused. I figured this would be a great topic to talk about.
Basically, I asked him what his goal was. He wanted to learn more about web design and was having problems focusing on it. The problem with that is that learning is NEVER a goal. Learning is only a means to an end. Now, that end could be satisfying curiosity, killing time, allowing someone to feel educated or important, or accomplishing something, but regardless of the intent learning is always a means to an end instead of a goal. This is because learning is a process, and processes can’t be a goal.
So we narrowed it down. What was the learning for? So he could make money on building websites. Now this is where most people create problems for themselves. They think that money is a motivator.
It isn’t.
Here’s the thing about motivation. Motivation is the feelings that you have that drive you to do something. For instance, I’m motivated to build my own business here because it gives me a sense of personal control (I don’t really like working for someone else’s company), challenge, achievement, and adventure. This is what my end goal of having a profitable business using 3D Mind is about for me. That gets me moving. Emotions drive us, after all.
Now for this guy, I asked him what the money allowed him to feel. The answer was, peace of mind, freedom, and relief from pressure. Then I asked him an important question. If you felt those feelings, would you be motivated to do anything?
The answer is no. These are all feelings that have a lack of movement or a lack of need to move in them. Therefore, of course he’s not going to have a desire to study the things he’s working on. There’s no movement. So now we’ve gone from a vague idea of what he wants to do to the feelings that are actually there, and we find that the outcome isn’t at all motivational. What’s that mean?
His goal sucks. 
He’s also not in touch with the things that really drive him.
So what happens if you take a look at what you’re doing and find the same thing? The next step is to find the other places in your life where you DO feel motivated, and notice what kinds of feelings are there that get you moving effortlessly. There could be all sorts-some of my favorites are fun, pride, and excitement-but they’re different for each person.
The thing is to find the ones that work for you and then ask yourself what gets in the way of feeling these when you’re tackling whatever it is that you’re trying to do. This is where you’ll find the limiting beliefs and the emotions that drive the problem, and from here you can work on them. Sometimes you just have to change your strategy, but of the time it’s the limiting beliefs/drivers that are the problem and once you take care of them (i.e. balance them out) then you don’t have to worry about “motivating” yourself. You’ll find yourself naturally moving toward your goal.
Now another guy stated that his end goal is to get a sense of accomplishment as well as a sense of relief. The accomplishment drives him, while the wanting relief really doesn’t. He already has some movement in his goal, but not enough to get him going for more than fits and starts. So what to do here? Keep the accomplishment and find the belief that causes the need for relief. You can keep the things that motivate you, and slice away the beliefs as you find them that slow you down. That’s the best way to get motivated because it doesn’t take as much effort, and it leads to a natural, effortless “motivation.”
Personally, I think that’s the best kind. :)
